Reflections on the friends I have, and may never meet...

Tonight I looked out of our windows and saw in the darkness of 2:00 in the morning a house on the hill with lights on- and was flooded with emotions.  Rewind six years ago and Jay and I had just moved in together and we would often take the fur kids on hikes.  There was this one hill way atop that had this beautiful view, and a gorgeous house atop it. We sat- overlooking the house on the hill and I looked around at my "family"- Jay, my then boyfriend- Luka, our dog, Mirage - our second dog, and Austin- our cat.  I never met the people who lived there- I don't know if they were old or young- if they had just moved in or lived there 20 years or more.  I wondered about them, what they looked like, what their family was like...Six years later and I still have never met them; I don't know if I will ever meet them, or if our paths have crossed, will cross, or may never cross.  Isn't that such a strange concept?  This happens millions a times a day-throughout our entire lives- we are just going by, living our lives while people are living their own lives.  Their joys and celebrations, their hear breaks and sorrows, their loves and losses- we are all just living.

My life is so different now from that first hike.  Jay proposed- Danica my stepdaughter moved in, Mila - my second stepdaughter would come to visit, and since then -we have had not one but two babies- Brooklyn and Cali.  We  have since lost two of our fur kids.  Sadly Mirage was in a hit and run  on a Christmas Eve last year- the  saddest christmas of my life- but four sweet days later my gorgeous baby Cali was born- and filled my darkest hour with some light.  Austin, our cat got sick, he rapidly began losing weight and getting what appeared to be cancer according to one of the vets.  Towards the end he did not leave my side- he even ate and drank which game me hope and then one day- he meowed to go out and has  never returned.  I read animals do this when it's their time- my heart breaks, but without closure of a final goodbye it does not feel real.  I often think I see him in the shadows of the night, only to realize it's not. So odd how I can spend 6-10 years so intimately, working from home, seeing them every day, sleeping with them, thinking of them as my "kids"... and then one day, just like that, they're gone, and my family as I knew it just six short years ago is so different in such a short period of time.

I wonder how those people who live in that houses life might have changed- if at all.  Do they ever look up at our house and lights in the night and wonder the same thing?

This area, unlike NYC and RTP is not transient.  More often than not the people I meet were born here, have grown old here and will most likely die here.  Very few travel outside these areas and even less have plans of moving.  Jay and I are nomads, Rolling Stones.  Between the two of us we have moved 20 times, multiple statues and even countries.  Although I am not shy at making friends, (I always say a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet")  I often am reserved to really truly get close to anyone - - sort of unconscious affect to avoid the pain of losing friendships after I inevitably move as I always have.

I am thankful to social media - especially facebooked for this reason.  So many people get to participate and stay involved in our lives and vice versa- no matter where we live.

On trips -Jay and I have been to 75 countries and countless cities and towns- we often meet people through our adventures.  Jay calls these encounters- a reason, a season or a lifetime.  You never know how the person you meet- albeit a fleeting period of time in the scheme of your life will impact the rest of your entire life... or, perhaps just a flickering shadow in the memories of your life.  

Our most recent example would be our newest friend -Wayne; we met on the ferry from Ireland to Liverpool.  He only takes that ferry twice a year- we happened to be on one of those two voyages.  Out of thousands of people aboard, we happend to sit next  each other.  Rather then remain silent- he started a conversation about our accents and  inquired where we were from.  As an Irish fellow, he happened to live in the states when he was 16.  We ended up chatting for the entire three hour voyage- even while Jay fell asleep in between us.  I had plans of playing matchmaker with this delightful, polite single young man with the adorable accent to one of my single friends (you know who you are). He even helped me to entertain (and wrangle) some of the mischievous Irish, and UK baby/toddler girls who wandered around and became friends with Brooklyn and Cali to prevent them from waking Jay up while taking selfies while he slept with his IPAD and giggling.  We became friends- and then FB friends- -and now somebody who I might never have seen again will forever be our friends.

I am also reminded of Narayan, our tour guide in Nepal- one of our honeymoon destinations.   We spent three days with him and we loved it there, and being in his knowledgeable, warm and inviting company... we promised if we ever went back to scale Mt. Everest or simply eat the delicious local cuisine called MoMos-  it would be with him.  Imagine a few years later how devastated I was when the earthquake hit Nepal- and how relieved I was when he marked his family safe on FB (I would have always wondered and worried had we lost touch).

Perhaps my biggest reminder is my South African friend "Dad Deon"- who was my tour guide in SA the month before I met Jay.  During that trip- My  grandmother passed away -and I got extremely sick.  Deon was more of a dad to me then my real dad ever was.  He cared for me, consoled me, took me to the doctors and insured I felt loved and taken care of....even when I was all the way around the world, without my closest family or friends, I was blessed to have my dear friend Jared- as well as the new friends I made.   I of course became FB friends with him and his beautiful wife Vinessa and family and think of them all often- all the way on the other side of the world- but just a click away thanks to Facebook.  We are like tech savvy new version of pen pals.

Heck I even met my sister and brother  thanks to  facebook - but that deserves its own blog.  :)

Sure, there are many more people I have met that I have not connected with and may never see again.      Times like this, when I am feeing melancholy and thoughtful I think of each of them.  I wish them health and happiness and hope that one day, someday our paths might cross again.  I am thankful for the evolution of technology-  and that people I meet along the way I can connect with and share in this crazy journey we call life.  There are so many people I have only met a few times but our lives have become interwoven and they have truly earned a place in my heart (and on my newsfeed).

I am not sure if we will grow old here, or move in a few months.  I don't know who will enter my life, or who will leave it... or who will cross my path along the way.  I do not know when the first time I meet someone if that is the last- or the beginning of a lifelong friendship... but I hope it is.  I hope to know you, I hope that my journey is filled with amazing people like the ones I have been blessed to know so far.  I don't know where my destination will take me, or any of us... but I am excited for the journey (and to have YOU in my life...be it a reason, a season, or my lifetime).

Presenting #SocialMedia to our Church Parish- #Technology Changes Everyone, Everywhere

I wanted to share. Last night I presented the Power of Social Media to our Parish Ministry Chairs (a project I volunteer to work on off hours over the past year). 

Our goal has been to expand the breadth and scope of diversity for the young and young at heart. #LetsGetSocial Kudos to the inspirational and forward thinking leader Sister Katherine Arseneau for paving the way and being so open minded and adventurous in this technology journey. #TheBestisYettoCome

I know when you look at the picture you will see a lot of gray hairs in the audience.  "Don't judge a book by it's cover"- that goes 10 fold for this Parish community. We all know in our Tech industry, the only thing constant is change- Social Media is fairly new for people in our industry as well, and constantly evolving so kudos to this group led by a remarkable nun who is open minded to green light all sorts of technology

Sister Kate

initiatives Mobile app, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, YouTube and more! Kudos also to the engaged audience of 50 ministry chairs who listened, laughed, and came up to me afterwards to say how much they learned and were interested in learning more!

Many work in tech, are chairs of schools, run 10k's or Marathons  and are extremely wise and inspirational! Do not let the gray hairs deceive you to know their vast level of knowledge and open mindedness to try something new (we ALL could use more of that!). Someday we all will age (if we have not already), and some teen will judge us – and boy would that be wrong.  :) With their years of wisdom and experience, they could teach us a thing or 2...or 10! :)

I told this one story and will share it with you now. My grandmother at a whopping 4'11. was a mom to six- 3 girls and 3 boys (The Italian Polish Brady Bunch of Brooklyn), and extremely filled with life and love. Until the age of 87 she was active in Yoga, Tai Chi, Line Dancing and calling out Bingo # and would go to church every day if she could. She was exposed to 9/11 and ended up being diagnosed a few years later with Pulmonary Fibrosis- a crippling lung disease which required her to wear Oxygen. She got winded going a short distance so she ended up having to go to a nursing room. It was at that time she could no longer go to her Parish church, and although she watched it on TV- she missed her faith leaders and church family.

My Grandmother Teresa Ragusa

My Grandma is now passed (may she rest in Heaven), but Sister Kate and a few of us had the idea of recording the Church Homily and Gospel... so we started a YouTube Channel and post them on our Facebook page. Now people like my grandma can watch even when their home-bound/in a nursing home and can no longer come to Church- such a blessing. Not to mention busy moms with young kids, people traveling, or people who just want to re-watch and listen to the lessons they share with us each week and meditate on the message.

If interested- this was my Preso: Easier to explain as some slides are pictures which I tell a story too, but in summary we have come a long way in a short period of time.

Getting Social with Saint Michael’s Church from Michelle Ragusa

I am inspired by their desire to reach a broader and more diverse audience, and to NEVER lose the desire to learn and grow. May we all be so wise! This is the POWER of Technology- it reaches ALL People, ALL Backgrounds, ALL Religions, ALL Languages, and it lifts them, it inspires them, and it brings us closer together.  As in the words of Cisco, There has never been a better time to do something Amazing.

On a side note- I understand public speaking is the largest fear in the world, surpassing Fear of Failure, Heights and even Death-... but not for me.  I genuinely LOVE presenting it is when I feel my natural high.  Sister Kate is one of the reasons I love going to Church again.  She is one of my mentors, she is one of THE BEST speakers I have ever heard present- her messages each week  our filled with humor, inspiration and the ability to make the complex easy to understand- truly top notch! So her messaging  affirms I am following my heart and passion and means so very much to me. "Michelle, Fantastic job last night.  You are a born presenter, believe me...and I have seen a lot of presenters and teachers!"  My husband, Jay - and I mean this honestly, is also one of the BEST presenters I have ever heard speak got to hear me speak for the first time in our relationship- shocking, I know-  but  I am usually presenting to work, customers, or young women/advancing women.  His comments, "... it was a great session and Michelle knocked it out of the park. Many of the people came by to talk to her after and were really motivated." meant so much to me,as did the resoundingly wonderful feedback I received on this and all of my presentations.  An ever present reminder (God-Wink) to follow my heart, and my dreams. For every journey we take in life-following our quest for knowledge, our passions and dreams, one step at a time...

An Open Letter to Matt and Melissa Graves, I am so Deeply Sorry for the Loss of your Son Lane

My heart is breaking, and I cannot stop crying.  I do not know you, Matt and Melissa Graves, I was never blessed to meet your sweet boy Lane, but I was up all night thinking about you and your family.  I have never laid eyes on you- but I cried -uncontrollably as if you were a close friend or family hearing the news that your precious angel was ripped from your family by a predator.  As I sat on my couch last night watching CNN in the background facing the devastating back to back tragedies this week in Orlando- the young talented and up and coming singer from the Voice Christina Grimmie killed after a concert at the Plaza Live Friday night. The gunman killed himself after shooting her. Then the devastating tragedy when early Sunday, a gunman killed 49 people and injured more than 50 others at the Pulse nightclub- and I listened to each of the survivors ask why them, and each of their families speak about their sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, loves- taken because of hate, intolerance, and plain evil. Then- wallowing in the sadness of humanity your story came on.  A family, just like mine- set to vacation at "the Happiest Place on Earth" Disney World with your family.  I imagine myself there, in your shoes... waking up early exploring the Disney Parks which is always a long day of fun and excitement for the whole family.  I picture you there tired, relaxing by the lake with your precious family.  I imagine my daughter Brooklyn, who is also two- and how happy she would have been after seeing Mickey and friends, and the joy she has playing in the water. I imagine the content feeling you have as a family being together, cherishing these memories- a lifetime dream of every child- and a joy to so many around the world... and then I imagine the horror that unfolds next- and I cannot breathe.

I cannot see what you saw, I cannot feel the fear and horror your family experienced.... but I cannot get the image replaying in my imagination out of my head.  I cannot imagine the next few hours sitting in your hotel room- replaying every single moment of "what ifs" and what you would do over if you could rewind time...but, you can't.   I shared your story on my facebook page and wept as I tossed and turned and could not find the ability to sleep thinking of you and your torment- thinking of your precious baby boy- and thinking of my own children and what would I do if I was in your shoes.

I woke up today, to see most people, like myself were in horror and empathetically sending prayers to your family...I was saddened, shocked, and frankly, irate to see how people chastised you on social media- saying "if only you would have watched your kids".  As if they are perfect, as if they have never made a mistake, as if they had never wished they could turn back time.  I was not there, I do not know your story or all of the details, I can't help but go through every scenario in my head- having multiples - trying to comfort one, watching the other, trying to relax after an exciting and tiring day, trying to get a "terrible two" to listen, ... I can't even go to the bathroom without walking back to the walls being colored, maybe you were trying to get them out of the water; or maybe you had the innocent presumption You were right there next to your child- watching them-so everything would be fine, but it wasn't.

People point to the signs that were posted (none mentioning risk of alligators- just warnings not to swim).  Honestly, if I myself was at a 5 star resort in Disney World- I would think only that the signs were there to prevent drowning without a lifeguard present, or avoid liability of law suits-- I myself might have gotten in the water after a hot day in the Floridian Sun, or thought, "we are right here, watching them, what could go wrong?" Media says it is the first time it has ever happened there. Maybe that makes me ignorant, or naive- but no one could have predicted that.  For the people who sit on their high thrones of couch perfection - an outsider looking into your life, and your family - with a magnifying glass casting judgement- YOU are the perfect parents, with perfect children, and YOU have never made a mistake...doubtable, but sure if you want to believe that... but for the rest of us- who are not "perfect" I certainly being one of them - we ALL make mistakes and some are silly things we can look back and laugh on and others- such as this are not so fortunate, and you have to pay the ultimate tragic price. Kicking you when you're down is not only unnecessary, it's cruel- and those people -they do not speak for the rest of us- I am SO SORRY and you're  NOT alone.     I don't even know if you saw the sign, I don't even know if that matters- you cannot change anything, although I am certain you desperately wish you could.

I understand they recovered Lane- and you will now have to go through laying your two year old son to rest, explaining to your older children he will not be coming home.  You will never see him get married, you will never see him graduate from HS and College, you will never see him realize his dreams- all the things that you plan on and imagine the day they place your child in your arms after being born.  You lost your baby boy, just as the parents of those who lost their 49 innocent children.    This has been a devastating week for Orlando, for the United States, and for each of you and your families.  I wish I could turn back time, I wish I could undo this hurt and pain you feel, I wish I could bring your baby boy back- and all of the recent victims. Nothing any of us say or do can bring them back.  I send you- all of you- my deepest condolences, I send you my prayers, I send you my hope for peace.

Don't just dream big ...Dream Elephant BIG!

"Sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment, until it becomes a Memory"

Yesterday I had the rare weekend gift of going on a five mile hike with my loves (furry and non).  As I am shorter, and only have two legs, I usually trail behind (even though it takes two of my little steps to catch up for every one of Jay's 6 foot tall steps).  As I walked, my mind drifted in and out of consciousness of the present moment, it was then I was struck by the light.  Rays of  sun light that is, illuminating over downtown Albany perfectly centered over the small mountain we had hiked atop of.  It was there where I saw the most majestic of suns setting over the city below.

It is not hard to see why the ancients thought that God(s) lived within the sun.  Throughout history, literature, religion, art, philosophy, the sun has shown bright. Sparkling, bright, and vivid was the giant tangerine orange ball of fire descending from the heavens .  They say you should not look directly into the sun, but I could not look away, it was stunning.  Something so simple, you see it every day, and yet perhaps the commonality of observance takes for granted the sheer beauty of it.  Each morning sunrise, and sun set is so spectacularly different from the next.  I lingered in the moment, as Jay realized I had fell behind and returned to see what gave me pause.  There together hand in hand we watched in breathtaking awe as the fire in the sky slowly disappeared in the horizon with a flash leaving behind only a fleeting rainbow of colors before dusk.

Costa Rica

I treasured that moment, and reflected on the walk back, now hurriedly through the woods before dark. I reflected on all of the brilliant sun rises and sun sets I have seen in my life, and those magical ones I have yet seen only in my dreams. Some of the more exotic memories I have from my travels feel like more of a dream.  A brief moment of reality that I will treasure forever more. Emerging from the jungle, galloping on horseback, to the beach of Samara, Costa Rica and stopping to see the sun set over the beautiful ocean. Seeing the sun set in a vision which I can only describe as surreal over the plains of the Safari in South Africa as we stopped to see Elephants, Zebras, and Giraffes in the blissful silence of their natural environment. Jay and I were lucky to see a glorious sunset almost every night that we were in Scandinavia (except for Iceland where the sun never sat =)).  On a ferry ride in Finland (we could see Russia from our hou...I mean Ferry ;)). Spontaneously renting bikes and meandering through Stockholm over the beautiful islands as the sunlight glistens off the water below. Strolling down the longest street in the world, Strogat in Denmark.

Finland/Sweden/Denmark

Cape Town, South Africa

 All of my blogs have been dedicated to the things in life that instill the most passion in me:  travel, technology, fitness and health .  No matter what I do, or where I go, I have fun doing it.  To me every moment is an experience, a memory which one day I will cherish forever- from exotic hikes down Table Mountain to the coast in South Africa, to strolls exploring the local gems around our home this past weekend.  Sometimes you have a mission and purpose, and sometimes you are just exploring-  local neighborhoods, hidden treasures, or foreign wanders.  For example,  ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of being in the circus so I can be one of the beautiful costumed women who rides the elephants.  This dream had a chance of becoming a reality when we were in Thailand.  Not speaking a lick of the language and using charades, planes, trains and automobiles, we set out to try and and find the local elephant park and ride one before the park closes!  We drove two hours and finally found it, unfortunately it had closed.  Things don't always go the way you want it to... but life is about goals, and striving to be your best, do your best and sometimes, not taking no for an answer!  If you believe it, you can achieve it.  Part of that is just believing in the unbelievable.  Anything is possible- you just need to dream BIG!

That's ME on top of  Marco the Elephant!

For some reason the whole time I was on the elephant in pure ecstasy (and disbelief) I had not one thought go through my mind.  I just paused and relished in the moment which was my child-hood dream coming to reality.  My heart beating a mile a minute, and a smile ear to ear as Mario (the Thai elephant) and I became forever friends.  On the drive home a million thoughts and feelings went through my mind, and the one poem which came to my thoughts, was "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost, a classic, and one of my personal favorites.  I will share it with you as a reminder, or as a life changing moment for those of you who have not yet had the opportunity to read it.  Please take a moment to read it,  pause, and let it sink in.We all have choices in life, paths to take, roads to follow.  Which path will you choose? 

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;        

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,        

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.        

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

So these are my key take-a-ways from today's blog:  Remember to keep it moving- walking, hiking, biking, kayaking, elephant riding  (that is some major core work, believe it or not) :).  Dream BIG (Elephant BIG!), anything is possible.  Wander off the path less traveled by, as Robert Frost would advise, that will make all the difference.  Don't be afraid to take a chance, and try new things, and re-do familiar favorites and fall in love with them all over again. Always have fun, life is to short not too.  But remember, while you are out there moving and shaking,  to pause, take a deep breath, and enjoy the simple moments in life;  The sunsets with the one you love, the moments that matter most, the experiences that will last a lifetime!